Back from mentally camping

It has been a little bit since my last blog. I wish I can say I have been completely absorbed in painting, creative juices overflowing onto countless canvases. No time to plug myself in and speak with you. I guess to be a little easy on myself I have been creative in other ways. Living: one must be creative everyday in the most simplistic, mundane moments.

Where there are creative highs there are an equal number of creative downs. My expression bag gets heavy with words, colors, moods, emotions. When it becomes so full and heavy it’s hard to look inside and see what all I have to work with to express myself with fluidity. So I must put it down and quietly take other things in visually instead. It’s tough to do this without feeling guilty. The responsibility for it’s contents, my attachment to the bag is practically burned into my skin! But I find I am losing focus and the road ahead looks a little hilly! Physically I put it down (mentally, it takes a bit but I get to understanding the importance). It’s good not to have the weight digging in my shoulders but I find myself itchy feeling a little out to sea. Funny how the weight can be both comforting and a burden at times!

Society tells us to pick a role that best pertains to ourselves and once that role is chosen to exercise it, no matter how tired we may become, we must move forward, time waits for no one, must stay vital. Institutions instill practice, practice, practice…..till your fingers bleed. I take a page from the book of musicians (personally Jazz musicians, being that they are so peppered throughout my family). Pay attention not only to the notes, but to the spaces between them. They allow a piece to breathe, allowing it to stew. Same thing for any composition in any art form. The same thing I realize is in human experience. (Art is life!) The importance of letting down our loads and just living a chunk of days quietly (as quietly as one can do when dealing with schedules). I think of it camping while walking along the path of life. You cannot journey without resting for a bit, otherwise you would wear yourself into the ground before reaching any type of goal. And with no time clock against me why beat myself up.

So I’ve taken up my bag again. I find myself being most thoughtful when I first take up my bag. I began this whole blogging experience I believe after taking up my bag again and walking. I am feeling refreshed. Now let’s see what’s up on that one hill!